To not know what you’re good at. I’ve heard that everyone is good at something, you just have to find it.
But it just sucks to think one thing, and then doubt it. Especially if that’s what you want to be good at.
Maybe I’m just lacking confidence.
Filed under: Uncategorized
Nobody is free.
Even birds are chained
to the sky.
As for me, I’m chained to this depression.
Unknown Author.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: cheap, food, lunch, noodles, ramen, random
Ramen noodles with a fork or a spoon.
Mmmm, my favorite kind in a cup.
So it’s my best friends birthday. I went to her family BBQ and to see her get her piercing. And as much as I love hanging out with her and her pretty much boyfriend, watching telly before 10h30 isn’t too fun. What do I do?
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Akward, Amelie, application, birthday, Chocolate, dad, Family, help, shrunken heads, Skullcandy, Target, Travel, Wish
that shrunken heads are. How does one get bones so tiny?
Today is my dad’s birthday. He told me to ‘buy something for myself, have him pay for it, and that he would feel good because he bought me something’. But I didn’t want to do that, so yesterday, after filling out an application at Target, I walked around.
Originally, I had wanted to buy him some SkullCandy headphones for when he’s mowing the lawn. I’ve heard that is a very horrible chore to do, and I am glad I have never had to do it. But, no job, no money. So I thought, okay, if not the $50 ones, the $30 black ones. But my mother did not want to pitch in. I almost considered the $15 ones, but I will wait until Christmas or something. I’ll most likely have money.
I ended up buying him a package of Starbuck’s Dark Expresso Chocolate. This morning, my two younger sisters and I gave him the cards, and we ended up watching The Birzzare Foods show and Samantha Browns on the Travel channel. Which just reminded me of the movie Amelie. Amelie knows that her father has always wanted to travel, and gives the gnome to a flight attendant to take pictures all over the place and send postcards to her dad, which eventually inspires him to take off.
It kind of went down hill when my mom came home around..2ish? It was just akward and silent, except for the Mexican music playing in the background. Eventually, my dad retreated to the basement when my mom had finished grilling and came in to eat.
I wish my family was a family.
So I’m going to not think about that for a while and I will try to fnd information on how to shrink heads. I would imagine my next quest would be finding an object to attempt at shrinking.
If anyone actually sees this post, help, please?
the wonders of the world. i have to start paying more attention to things like that.
i don’t have bones of glass. i can handle throwing myself at life.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: 4th of July, Bacardi, Family, Life, Oprah, Selfish
Is this some kind of message?
Anyway, it’s Sunday and I am here at my aunt’s again. This time, I’m having a better time. Not everyone is here from before, but my dad is. He brought some Bacardi Mojito Pomegrante (spelled wrong) and they were delicious. Much funner drinking with the family than it was on Friday.
It sounds stupid, but honestly, I’m a family person. I want my close, blood family to be together. I guess that’s kind of selfish though. One of the reasons is so I don’t have to choose. Living all together, we kind of still are choosing… I’m ready to write to Oprah.
Filed under: Lyrics | Tags: Bravery, Caving In, Fear, Heart, Kimya Dawson, Questions
Have you ever been swindled by a swindler who lies ’cause he wants to see you smile, have a good time, be inspired? And he doesn’t want for you to cry or know he cries inside, so he hides behind his big triumphant rock and roll disguise. You want things to be real, but you really can’t deny you feel excited and on fire. Is it wrong to lie and say he’s fine when the reason he’s not fine is the pressure of the power changing lives? In just one hour all these people will be better people.Take this job and shove it. Adios, I’m a ghost. I am leaving for the coast and I’ll never work for anyone again. I’m not your savior or your heavenly host. I’m just a piece of slide back toast, getting soggy in a baby’s mouth. I’m going south, like the geese. I just goosed you in so maybe I seem loose to you but I don’t even wanna screw, and I did once, but I don’t now that I see you do things, the way you play and sing’s amazing, but the way you play the game is crazy. You don’t have to say you’re sorry. You don’t owe me anything, don’t owe me anything.
Sometimes it seems like I’ve got all the answers, but the answers aren’t the same when the questions keep on changing. Like, how will I react when I see my mother crying every single day ‘cause she is afraid of dying? And how will I contain my anger when Delilah plays unchained melody instead of lost in your eyes? And where will I go where I can feel safe when my family sells this place and we all split up and move away?
I’m trying to be brave ‘cause when I’m brave other people feel brave but I feel like my heart is caving in. I’m trying to be brave ‘cause when I’m brave other people feel brave, but I feel like my heart is caving in. I’m trying to be brave ‘cause when I’m brave other people feel brave, but I feel like my heart is caving in.
Filed under: Lyrics | Tags: Giants, Grounded, Hippie, Humbled, Kimya Dawson, Tiny
When I go for a drive, I like to pull out to the side of the road, turn out the lights, get out, and look up at the sky. And I do this to remind me that I’m really really tiny in the grand scheme of things, and sometimes this terrifies me. But it’s only really scary ’cause it makes me feel surreal in a way I never thought I’d be ’cause I’ve never been so grounded and so humbled and so one with everything.
I am grounded, I am humbled, I am one with everything.
Rock and roll is fun, but if you ever hear someone say you are huge, look at the moon, look at the stars, look at the sun, look at the ocean, and the desert, and the mountains, and the sky. Say “I am just a speck of dust inside a giant’s eye.”
When I saw Jean-Vive I really liked it, what she said, about the giants and the lemmings on the cliff. She said, “I like giants. Especially girl giants. ‘Cause all girls feel too big sometimes, regardless of their size.”
When I go for a dive, I like to pull off to the side and run and jump into the ocean in my clothes. I’m smaller than a poppy seed inside a great big bowl. And the ocean is a giant that can swallow me whole. So I swim for all salvation, and I swim to save my soul. But my soul is just a whisper trapped inside a tornado, so I flip on my back and I float and I sing, “I am grounded, I am humbled, I am one with everything. I am grounded, I am humbled, I am one with everything.”
So I talked to Jean-Vieve and almost cried when she said that the giant on the clif wished that she were dead. And the lemmings on the cliff wished that they were dead.
So the giant told the lemmings why they oughta live instead. When she thought up all those reasons that they oughta live instead, it made her reconsider all the sad thoughts in her head.
So thank you, Jean-Vieve ’cause you take what is in your head and you make things that are so beautiful and share them with your friends. We all become important when we realize our goal shouldbe to figure out our roll with inthe context of the whole.
And yeah, rock and roll is fun but if you ever hear someone say you are huge, look at the moon, look at the stars, look at the sun, look at the ocean and the desert, and the mountains, and the sky. Say, “I am just a speck of dust inside a giant’s eye. I am just a speck of dust inside a giant’s eye.”
And I don’t wanna make her cry. ‘Cause I like giants.
I really do. The only problem is that it kills me to know I have one, but not exactly know what it is.
It’s worse when there’s TWO.
Oh, the suspense.
Really, the only thing that sucks is that they get me so excited, and when they are revealed, it is not the image I had conjured in my head.
Come on, I know there’s a golden gecio (even though I was hoping snake) and some weed SOMEWHERE!
