Filed under: Uncategorized
It looks like my new summer friends are Maury and Steve Wilkos. I spend my summer vacation mornings with them. Sometimes I go to the hospital and get stethescopes. My afternoons consist of preparing food for my sisters. I end my night with my littlest sister sleeping in my bed.
I had forgotten about the flies that always get in the house during the summer. The ones that you hear always when you’re laying in bed, unsure if you should try and sleep or try to find something to go again, only to reach the kitchen and get some piece of food you really didn’t want.
With my mom in the hospital, I am at my house more than before. And it’s scary- I feel like my mom!
No one listens to her, why would they to me? My younger sisters sometimes do, but the bitchy 13 year old can go to hell. She’s useless. Unless the ability to lounge around and think about herself is some soft of talent the world needs.
Yeah, there is always a bright side to things. I just don’t feel they’re that bright though. I mean now I have an excuse not to work-out of the house. And I get to… spend time with my sisters? I can… erm, save money.
If only…
Sometimes I dream I’m a millionaire
With jewels, champagne, and things to share
A very big apartment that belongs to me
And a nice and sporty car to drive in the city
What color do you have?
“Red and Blue.”
Can this take me down that way?
“Up to you.”
Does this car drive fast?
“Yes, sir, it’s the fastest we’ve got.”
Sometimes I dream I’m a true lover
One look in the eye and then drinks up, you sir
Each and every chick falling at my heel
The can of guys bein’ civil then come in sick
“There you go, have a drink.”
“It’s okay.”
Come to my bedroom we’ll have a lay
“I have a boyfriend.”
So what about a blowjob?
“It doesn’t sound like a problem..”
Sometimes I dream I’m a ballet dancer
That kind of dancer you would remember
I’ll do pirouettes, and I adage
Training by a madman who’ll be totally gay
Sir, my back hurts
“Force your legs”
Can I have this ice cream with peanuts?
“Certainly not!”
Will I be the prima ballerina?
“Not with that fat body of yours!”
Sometimes I dream I work at the video store
With my feet on the counter;
watching porn
I hope my boss doesn’t walk through the door
My eyes are full of bad
and my mouth full of popcorn.
Oh no! Here he comes..
“What’s going on in here?”
I thought that video was about a snake!
“I’ve been paying you for this!?”
You can’t fire me, I quit!
“You can’t quit, you’re FIRED!!”
Sometimes I dream I’m a fisherman
who captures a white whale, so it will become my friend
We’ll sail out together
and we’ll never part
So wild is my pet so I will name it Bart
Let’s go and free Willy
“Okay, dude!”
Invite some jellyfish and have a party
“That sounds good”
How does it feel to have a blowhole?
“Feels like I’m a pretty strange animal!”
Sometimes I dream I sell fireworks
to thousands of patriotic jerks
And as they drive away
I have to smirk
Because I sold them crap that doesn’t work.
“Hey guys, are you psyched for the 4th of July?”
(Cheering in agreement)
“God bless America, right?”
“USA! USA!”
Have fun at your party
(sound of a lighter) “Aw..”
Suckers.
