Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Akward, Amelie, application, birthday, Chocolate, dad, Family, help, shrunken heads, Skullcandy, Target, Travel, Wish
that shrunken heads are. How does one get bones so tiny?
Today is my dad’s birthday. He told me to ‘buy something for myself, have him pay for it, and that he would feel good because he bought me something’. But I didn’t want to do that, so yesterday, after filling out an application at Target, I walked around.
Originally, I had wanted to buy him some SkullCandy headphones for when he’s mowing the lawn. I’ve heard that is a very horrible chore to do, and I am glad I have never had to do it. But, no job, no money. So I thought, okay, if not the $50 ones, the $30 black ones. But my mother did not want to pitch in. I almost considered the $15 ones, but I will wait until Christmas or something. I’ll most likely have money.
I ended up buying him a package of Starbuck’s Dark Expresso Chocolate. This morning, my two younger sisters and I gave him the cards, and we ended up watching The Birzzare Foods show and Samantha Browns on the Travel channel. Which just reminded me of the movie Amelie. Amelie knows that her father has always wanted to travel, and gives the gnome to a flight attendant to take pictures all over the place and send postcards to her dad, which eventually inspires him to take off.
It kind of went down hill when my mom came home around..2ish? It was just akward and silent, except for the Mexican music playing in the background. Eventually, my dad retreated to the basement when my mom had finished grilling and came in to eat.
I wish my family was a family.
So I’m going to not think about that for a while and I will try to fnd information on how to shrink heads. I would imagine my next quest would be finding an object to attempt at shrinking.
If anyone actually sees this post, help, please?
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Hey, kitty! I used to be all freaky-obsessed with shrunken heads: how somebody, maybe even as big as me, could be squeezed down into something so very, very tiny. From what I read, the process of shrinking heads and the like equates pretty closely to the process used for smoking meats: using slow, slow heat to gradually force evaporation of every last little bit of moisture from the body. My grandad used to do this with dead critters he’d find on his Texas farm by burying them in sand and leaving em out in the hot sun (bury em deep enough the ants can’t get em!). Either method takes a really long time, though. Way too much time to keep my scattery focus, unfortunately. …Or maybe fortunately. I mean, if you’re coming from the shrinkee’s perspective.
As to the fambly nonsense, I figure the whole blood-tie thing is kinda overrated in this stage of our monkeystyle evolution. I mean, I’ve got a Mama and a brother who can see my heart and not be afraid, but beyond that? Everyone else in my questionable bloodline is either bitter or dead. I figure, in the new planet, the new world neighborhood, in our burgeoning ‘Merican awareness of things outside ourselves, that family is *truly* whatchya make it. I’ve got family I’ve only met once, never met at all, or can’t even have conversations with ’cause we’ve got no common language: the crazy people whose crimes consist of being ill-fitted for our angry society. The lizards and frogs, the dragonflies and butterflies who flock to me when my hair is newly Blue. The spiders and mockingbirds who kindly eat greedybugs outta my vegetable garden. The musicians and artists and writers who have kept me this side of the crematorium by translating Beauty so’s I can see it, too. The moon is my family, and the soft cypress trees and crazy bougainvillea. Anyone who’s ever made me laugh until I pee. Anyone who’s ever fed me. Anyone who’s ever understood what colors taste like, what taste feels like. Anyone who can laugh when it hurts, who can be mirthful and mean it. My family, especially in this most unaMerican of ‘Merican cities, is anyone who understands what a gift it is, what a *joy* it is to wake up breathing, today today today. My family, sweet birdy, is YOU.
…And now, I realize your original post is almost a year old. Wish I coulda found you sooner, but…well, y’know, sometimes these things happen when they’re s’posed to happen.
A year late or not, I’m still the sister you maybe didn’t know you had. All my most effusive joy to your meaty little heart.
I.
Love.
YOU.
~rum doxy~
Comment by rum doxy June 12, 2009 @ 7:50 pmnew orleans